Cam 14

I don't know how to cope. My thoughts and feelings are all messed up sometimes I'm happy and everything is fine but sometimes I would give anything to be someone else.

  My mother has breast cancer and has had a operation but now has to have chemo I'm angry because already in my life lots of bad things had happened, My mother has severe depression, which means she can have suicidal thoughts. She also had a car crash which means she has vestibular disorder, which means I am registered as a young carer. My sister bullies me when she gets stressed. I have a severe eating disorder, for people who dint have an eating disorder it is like walking around every day with someone shout EAT EAT EAT in your ear 24/7. I also have anger issues (surprised?). I'm also doing GCSE soon, I also nigh have mild asd

I don't know how to cope. My thoughts and feelings are all messed up sometimes I'm happy and everything is fine but sometimes I would give anything to be someone else. I get angry and sad by I don't know how to say to ny parents I am sad or hurt or scared at how her depression will get worse

Sometime I want to curl up into a ball and cry and at school it could be the smallest thing but I will feel hopeless.

I wish ny friends understood a I want to say I'm scared or that I had a
bad weekend my mother got very low and sad an depressed bit I don't
know how. And I dint know how to say to teachers. Sorry I couldn't do my English or maths I was too busy trying to convince my mother that she should not leave us or divorce my father while trying to calm down my hystrical sister. So people have labelled me as the years freak an I HATE IT.
I wish people would stop and think as to why I am so obese instead of staring at an weigh such disgust in their eyes it make me want to hide away forever.

I don't know how to live or be normal.
Or what a normal life is, I can't go out or see my friend or talk about how great some new £80 skirt is as I spend my weekend trying to do homework and blasting music in my ears to block out the shouting. Staying up til 2 or 3 in the morning as the stress of life is to much fir my brain.

I would not wish this upon the worst man in history as even they would not cope.

You would not believe all the stuff I have been through at 14!.

 

Page updated 18 December 2015