Izzy - aged 10 and update aged 11

I told a boy who I thought was my friend. Turned out he thought getting cancer was hilarious. When he laughed I wanted to punch him, but I didn't, I wish I did.

A few days after Christmas, my Mum sat me and my brother down on the sofa and told us that Dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer. Mum kept telling us that he just had a bad back so this was a big shock. We went upstairs to see Dad and he was trying so hard to cheer us up, reading Viz magazine to my older brother. I kept crying at school all the time, imagining what it would be like if Dad passed away. Everyone said he would be ok in no time. They all said it so many times; I knew Dad wouldn't go; I always imagine stuff like that.

In January, Dad went to a hospital. He got too weak for chemotherapy so he got moved to a hospice in February. On the 10th of February, I, my older brother and Mum went to see Dad in the hospice. His voice was croaky and he couldn't breathe properly. Mum had a chat with one of the nurses and when she came back, she told me and my brother to give Daddy a big hug and kiss. My Auntie came to our home and looked after us when Mum stayed at the hospice for the night. That night I had a dream that Daddy picked me up from school and I was really happy. My brother woke me up and took me downstairs. Mum was lying on the sofa and told me Daddy had died during the night because he got Septothurmia and his body had closed down.

At first, it didn't really hit me, but later I burst into tears. It's really hard now at school. No one understands what it's like. My brother knows people in his high school who don't have a Daddy either but I feel really far away from the other kids. I miss you Daddy. If you can see this, please come home.

Update

Update in April 2007: I have sent in my story before, but now things have changed more. It's been a year since my Dad died now. Life's just gone all wrong ever since he died. He got Bowel Cancer in 2005. He was making jokes, like it was no big deal, but it was for me. Mum said I could only tell a few people. I wish I didn't. I told a boy who I thought was my friend. Turned out he thought getting cancer was hilarious. When he laughed I wanted to punch him, but I didn't, I wish I did.

Dad died in Febuary 2006. We got tons of cards and Mum's friends visited, but me and my brother didn't get much support from our 'friends'. When I got back to school, this girl who I used to hang around with boasted to me about "her dad's brilliant car" and "his huge raise at work". I wanted to punch her too. I went out with this boy (I'm ashamed to say) who boasted to me about his dad on Valentines Day and rubbed how bad 2006 was in my face. (He follows me.) I also want to punch him. (There's lots of people I want to punch). It feels really unfair that this happened to me. I thinks its extremely unfair that it happens and has happened to lots of people, Mums and Dads alike. I just can't accept the fact that lifes too unfair.

Page updated 15 April 2007