Emotions and Friends

Started : 1.2.2016 by Anonymous

About 8 months ago, my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Since then, he's been through many different treatment options (including surgery, chemo and trials), none of which has helped; the cancer has now over doubled in size, and spread to the liver. In the last month, he has significantly gone downhill, and has now been referred to palliative care, with the probability of only a few weeks left. This has left me struggling emotionally and with friends. I feel permanently stressed, and on the verge of tears. I was wondering how others here cope with that emotional strain? In terms of my friends, perhaps I'm being selfish, but their attitudes just in daily life, really irritate me. When they're happy, they are happy to a hyper level, and I feel upset and jealous that I just can't seem to be as happy. Unfortunately, when they feel they are stressed or upset, their problems often seem trivial in comparison to what I'm going through. Many of them don't ask how things are going, and if they do, it feels as if they are just going through the motions. They don't seem to understand that I want to talk to them, and need their support; they just want to hug me. I don't want to lose my friends, and would like advice from others here as to how they dealt with these or similar problems? Thanks

4 Comments so far...

1 - robyn 2/2/2016 @ 11:18

Hello, Robyn from the Riprap team here,

I am sure many others reading your post will have similar feelings and difficulties talking and connecting with their friends. it can often be easier to share how you are feeling with others who are , or have been in a similar situation as they find it easier to understand what you are going through.

You may find it helpful to read through some of the other stories here on the Riprap website. it sounds as if you are finding things understandably difficult just now. if you would like to talk things over in more detail you are very welcome to message the riprap team via get in touch and we can help you to find the support you need

Best wishes Robyn

2 - Char 18/2/2016 @ 16:23

Hi I get exactly how you feel! (my mum has ovarian cancer) I find my friends have stopped talking to me about their own problems because they feel it doesnt compare to mine. However i have found the more i talk about it to them in small doses the better they have become, sometimes i laugh about the times we've been to hospital and the nurses aswell as sharing my anger about my mum being turned away from a spa treatment. Each time i introduce it the more they start to interact and relax, i still dont understand why im having to accomadate for them but its taken me 5 years to adjust to the word let alone the concept so i remind myself that everyone reacts differently. Show them you need that support and im sure theyll give you it. I hope this helps and best wishes to you and your family!

3 - emotions and friends 21/2/2016 @ 19:16

Hi! I feel the same way about talking to my friends(my mum has bowel cancer). I have told some of my closest friends but most of them don't know and I don't know how to tell them-like what to say. I felt that telling a few friends helped a bit because then you had someone that knows why you are always upset. Also, my tutor teacher is helping a lot too! If you ever need to talk I am here! Xx

4 - Stella 16 7/9/2018 @ 17:49

I feel like this with my friends also. My dad died last April and whatever ny friends are delaing with is always made out to be 100x worse than it already is and if i ever snapchat them about my dad they just reply with a sad emoji and carry on the conversation about something else xx