• STORIES

    DD, Aged 17

    When people would talk they didn't know what to say which was understandable.  more...

  • STORIES

    Mimi - 15 years old

    I lost myself doing stupid things, angry and sad and depressed at everything. I ended up failing my classes, not caring about school, and getting into fights.  more...

  • STORIES

    Chelsea - 14 years old

    I stuck my head round the door in the room mum was in, and she looked really ill. I couldn't understand what was happening - one minute my mum was fine and the next she was ill.  more...

  • STORIES

    Clair - aged 14

    Something I wish is I could just have one more day with my dad! - to tell him how much I love him and how sorry I am for all the bad things I have said and done to him!  more...

  • STORIES

    Nicole - 17 years old

    This time the doctors are unable to operate. He has already had 6 sessions of chemo and is having another 6 sessions. I cannot help feeling I may lose him.  more...

  • STORIES

    Rirrif - 15 years old

    I have been staying with my dad because my mom doesn't want me around when she is sick, which is all the time. My dad works at night so I spend a lot of time alone since I'm not with my mom. I'm afraid she is going to die and I'll blame myself for not being there more. more...

  • STORIES

    HT - 13 years old

    She has been so strong about this and is keen to put it all behind her.  more...


Emotions and Friends

Started : 1.2.2016 by Anonymous

About 8 months ago, my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Since then, he's been through many different treatment options (including surgery, chemo and trials), none of which has helped; the cancer has now over doubled in size, and spread to the liver. In the last month, he has significantly gone downhill, and has now been referred to palliative care, with the probability of only a few weeks left. This has left me struggling emotionally and with friends. I feel permanently stressed, and on the verge of tears. I was wondering how others here cope with that emotional strain? In terms of my friends, perhaps I'm being selfish, but their attitudes just in daily life, really irritate me. When they're happy, they are happy to a hyper level, and I feel upset and jealous that I just can't seem to be as happy. Unfortunately, when they feel they are stressed or upset, their problems often seem trivial in comparison to what I'm going through. Many of them don't ask how things are going, and if they do, it feels as if they are just going through the motions. They don't seem to understand that I want to talk to them, and need their support; they just want to hug me. I don't want to lose my friends, and would like advice from others here as to how they dealt with these or similar problems? Thanks

4 Comments so far...





108208


1 - robyn 2/2/2016 @ 11:18

Hello, Robyn from the Riprap team here,

I am sure many others reading your post will have similar feelings and difficulties talking and connecting with their friends. it can often be easier to share how you are feeling with others who are , or have been in a similar situation as they find it easier to understand what you are going through.

You may find it helpful to read through some of the other stories here on the Riprap website. it sounds as if you are finding things understandably difficult just now. if you would like to talk things over in more detail you are very welcome to message the riprap team via get in touch and we can help you to find the support you need

Best wishes Robyn

2 - Char 18/2/2016 @ 16:23

Hi  I get exactly how you feel! (my mum has ovarian cancer) I find my friends have stopped talking to me about their own problems because they feel it doesnt compare to mine. However i have found the more i talk about it to them in small doses the better they have become, sometimes i laugh about the times we've been to hospital and the nurses aswell as sharing my anger about my mum being turned away from a spa treatment. Each time i introduce it the more they start to interact and relax, i still dont understand why im having to accomadate for them but its taken me 5 years to adjust to the word let alone the concept so i remind myself that everyone reacts differently. Show them you need that support and im sure theyll give you it. I hope this helps and best wishes to you and your family!

3 - emotions and friends 21/2/2016 @ 19:16

Hi! I feel the same way about talking to my friends(my mum has bowel cancer). I have told some of my closest friends but most of them don't know and I don't know how to tell them-like what to say. I felt that telling a few friends helped a bit because then you had someone that knows why you are always upset. Also, my tutor teacher is helping a lot too! If you ever need to talk I am here! Xx

4 - Stella 16 7/9/2018 @ 17:49

I feel like this with my friends also. My dad died last April and whatever ny friends are delaing with is always made out to be 100x worse than it already is and if i ever snapchat them about my dad they just reply with a sad emoji and carry on the conversation about something else xx