Dads stage 4 tongue and neck cancer

Started : 21.2.2017 by ...

My dad has stage 4 tongue and neck cancer. He's a single parent, with only me(18 y/o) and my younger brother(15 y/o) living with him. For a few years now my dad has had many problems with his tongue, going to the hospital and having bits of his tongue taken out, and every time his tongue has been getting worse. As he's a single parent with no partner my aunt came down to help him and us with everything. He was diagnosed with stage 4 tongue cancer early January and had his operation 30th of January. They had to remove his whole tongue and has had a flap reconstruction using a part of his thigh to create a new tongue, he'll have to have a PEG for the rest of his life now. Apparently it spread to his neck, my aunt has been trying to remain positive and hasn't told us the serious stuff about his cancer (think she just doesn't want us to worry or get stressed about this). The doctors believe they have removed all of the cancer and he's recovering extremely well, and starts chemo/radiation on 28th February. But i'm so scared. Even though hes doing really well at the moment, i'm still terrified of the cancer returning as every time he has something done with his tongue it gets worse and i know the chemo/radiation will make him feel awful, it kills me to see him not being his old self. He's lost loads of weight and it breaks my heart to see him like this. I'm in my second year of A levels and hoping to go to university in September, but school is the last thing on my mind at the moment and i have no motivation at the moment!! I'm a big worrier and i can't imagine losing him!

2 Comments so far...

1 - Rosie 3/5/2017 @ 20:17

Hi, My mum has stage 4 bone cancer, i know what its like to be in and out of hospital. It's so hard seeing your parent change my mum lost weight and the steroids made her face swell up and its so weird but at least they're here! Im doing my GCSE's so i know I'm a bit younger than you, but i wanted to reply to you because i still kinda know what its like. I am finding it so hard to care about school because of whats going on, all i want to do is spend time with her and when I'm not I'm wondering how she's feeling! I worry about everything as well, so naturally when theres a big reason to worry its a bit overwhelming but all i can say is take it a day at a time. My mum is terminal so i just have to enjoy the time that we have and i hope your dad doesn't have any more problems with his cancer but you worrying about it won't change it. Just spend time with him and enjoy it and i hope your dad and you are ok in the future! Rosie

2 - Maisie 7/6/2017 @ 19:25

Hey, my Dad was too diagnosed with cancer in his neck at the beginning of March this year. I'm also 18, so doing my A-levels now and I've completely lost motivation for anything to do with my exams, because seeing my Dad so unwell all I want to do is help him. But I feel completely helpless and it's horrible knowing you can't take the pain away or anything for them. When they did the operation to take the tumour out his neck they found it was also in his tongue and so they removed part his tongue. Like I'm sure you know he couldn't eat either and lost 3stone in 2 weeks, so they are fitting a PEG for him next week, which I'm so nervous abouts did you Dad recover well from having the PEG fitted? I will have to help him use it when he can't do it himself. Is it difficult to do?