DD, Aged 17

    When people would talk they didn't know what to say which was understandable.  more...


    Mimi - 15 years old

    I lost myself doing stupid things, angry and sad and depressed at everything. I ended up failing my classes, not caring about school, and getting into fights.  more...


    Chelsea - 14 years old

    I stuck my head round the door in the room mum was in, and she looked really ill. I couldn't understand what was happening - one minute my mum was fine and the next she was ill.  more...


    Clair - aged 14

    Something I wish is I could just have one more day with my dad! - to tell him how much I love him and how sorry I am for all the bad things I have said and done to him!  more...


    Nicole - 17 years old

    This time the doctors are unable to operate. He has already had 6 sessions of chemo and is having another 6 sessions. I cannot help feeling I may lose him.  more...


    Rirrif - 15 years old

    I have been staying with my dad because my mom doesn't want me around when she is sick, which is all the time. My dad works at night so I spend a lot of time alone since I'm not with my mom. I'm afraid she is going to die and I'll blame myself for not being there more. more...


    HT - 13 years old

    She has been so strong about this and is keen to put it all behind her.  more...

College and mum

Started : 24.10.2018 by Amelia

My mum was diagnosed with secondary metastatic melanoma last year, 12 years after the primary tumour in her eye was treated. It had spread to her liver and neck, which was bad news. At that point I was working in a really bad job, having dropped out of college due to quite serious mental health issues, but after leaving the job and auditioning for a course in my local college, I thought maybe we were on the right track. Mum had two surgeries, a liver dissection and neck dissection, and then 6 weeks of radiotherapy, which her oncologist thought (hoped) would sort it, and when we had the follow up PET scan, it turned out that the cancer had spread to her spine, stomach, pelvis, chest, lymph system and back to her liver. She was then put on immunotherapy, which left her in hospital due to colitis which nearly killed her. They then found it had spread to her brain as well, and she's now having treatment until her doctor says there's no need any more, either way. In between all of this, I started a really intense course at college and a part time job, and I'm really struggling with coping with everything. I want to give up and make it all stop.

2 Comments so far...


1 - College and mum 30/3/2019 @ 00:55

I’m so sorry I’ve been through a similar thing as my mum now has terminal cancer after originally being diagnosed in 2015. She may not even make it to my 18th and I’m so so close with her. I feel that people try to help but don’t know what to say. Making college so hard for me as I feel I have little support and I have pushed myself out of friendship groups and my college tutors always feel like they’re fighting me. I try to put a face full of makeup on and look nice with a smile but it doesn’t work it never works. It’s breaking me. Sometimes I feel like the only easy way out is to end it. I honestly do I’ve thought about it so much. But I just can’t bring myself to do anything

2 - Hilde at riprap 1/4/2019 @ 12:43

Hi I’m sorry to hear about your mum and how her illness is naturally affecting your whole life, including college. It sounds like you’re having a really hard time and you’re very welcome to get in touch with us to talk things through over email. You can use the ‘Get in touch’ button on the website to make contact. I was sad and concerned to read that you’ve had thoughts of ‘ending it’ and I would urge you to talk to someone you trust about how you feel. There are also national organisations supporting young people who are feeling low and perhaps you could make contact with them…? Here are some info on two of them: Young Minds (https://youngminds.org.uk/ ) have information for young people  on mental health issues including depression and self-harm. Samaritans (https://www.samaritans.org/ ) provide confidential support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair. You can get in touch in various ways, including visiting one of their local branches in the UK or getting support online. Warm wishes from Hilde