I just keeping thinking my mum's going to go like her mother did

I guess i'm seeking advice and support. I feel so alone, I feel as if nobody understands how I feel. In November I lost my dads mother to 2 cancerous brain tumours, I then lost my mums mother to lung cancer in February and now my mum has being diagnosed with lung cancer. When I told my friends they all said they'd be there for me and all that kind of thing, since that day I've not actually heard from one single friend. My mum is getting mapped up for radiation therapy on Thursday (05/05/16) then she will begin that and chemotherapy. I don't like speaking to my mum about it as I am scared I'm upsetting her, I don't want to speak to any of my so called 'friends' as they haven't bothered with me since I told them. I'm currently working as a community carer going to people's houses to care for them. I'm just petrified that once my mum starts treatment (I know she's going to be ill) and I go to work something bad will happen and I can't be here to look after her. I feel my work aren't considering how I feel, I just want to leave work so I can look after her. I'm on anti-depressants as well. My mum is my world, we have always always been close, hardly any arguments like my 'friends' do with their mums. I just keeping thinking my mums going to go like her mother did. Sorry this is so long. I just need help :(

You have had a great deal of sadness over the last six months. You are grieving for your grandparents, as well as trying to adjust to the shock of your mum's diagnosis. All this - and working in a job where you are caring for people who are unwell/infirm at home. There is no wonder that you're feeling anxious, and low in mood.

Friends sometimes don't know what to say, when someone has things going on in their lives which is beyond their experience. It may not be intentional - sometimes when we're feeling very low, friends aren't sure how to respond. It can feel very hurtful though. It may be that you have to make the first move - maybe to a friend you're particularly close to normally.

Your mum might like to talk to you about what is going on, but may be waiting till you're ready to open up? Any upset she may be feeling, is likely to be at the cancer, and the loss of her mum...and not with you. Sometimes it's hard to be open about how we feel...trying to protect the person we love...but you may find you and she are feeling the same sort of emotions...

The thoughts you have about the fear of losing your mum the same way as she lost hers, is natural. The future suddenly feels an unknown landscape, and it can feel scary.

I'm wondering if you could discuss with work whether you could have a week off, when your mum starts her treatment, to help support her? This way, you can be there for her, whilst you all see how the treatments affect your mum. Alternatively, with all the stress going on, sometimes people are signed off sick by their GP, for a couple of weeks or so, to help ease the pressure. Your GP may also be able to arrange for some counselling for you. To find out more about what support is available in your area, click here.

You are welcome to talk through things with us here at riprap too, using the 'get in touch' form...