DD, Aged 17

    When people would talk they didn't know what to say which was understandable.  more...


    Mimi - 15 years old

    I lost myself doing stupid things, angry and sad and depressed at everything. I ended up failing my classes, not caring about school, and getting into fights.  more...


    Chelsea - 14 years old

    I stuck my head round the door in the room mum was in, and she looked really ill. I couldn't understand what was happening - one minute my mum was fine and the next she was ill.  more...


    Clair - aged 14

    Something I wish is I could just have one more day with my dad! - to tell him how much I love him and how sorry I am for all the bad things I have said and done to him!  more...


    Nicole - 17 years old

    This time the doctors are unable to operate. He has already had 6 sessions of chemo and is having another 6 sessions. I cannot help feeling I may lose him.  more...


    Rirrif - 15 years old

    I have been staying with my dad because my mom doesn't want me around when she is sick, which is all the time. My dad works at night so I spend a lot of time alone since I'm not with my mom. I'm afraid she is going to die and I'll blame myself for not being there more. more...


    HT - 13 years old

    She has been so strong about this and is keen to put it all behind her.  more...

My mum has a brain tumour

Hi, My mum has a brain tumour and has had it 15 years but it has gotten worse and she can't talk or walk properly. I am finding it hard but my stepdad is also stressed out and shouts at me for not helping around the house enough but I don't know what to do because I get upset by everything going on too

It sounds as though your mum's cancer has been a feature of you and your family's lives for a long time. Now that she is more unwell, it is natural that stress levels for everyone concerned have increased. Both you and your stepdad want to do the best for your mum, but caring is hard work, both physically and emotionally.

Your stepdad has probably got little patience for much else at home, but that has a knock on affect for you - as this is your mum, and seeing her less able to do the things she did, are understandably upsetting.

Perhaps ask him if he'd prepare a list of jobs that need doing, and then you'll know what will help. Acknowledge that he is probably finding everything stresssul at the moment, and you do want to help. Explain that the situation with your mum is upsetting for you too, and that's why sometimes it may seem (to him) that you're not pulling your weight.

He , in turn, may be so wrapped up in what's going on, that he can't see how upset you are...

Have you anyone to talk to in the family, friends, or at school/college who you can talk to? This is an emotionally draining time for you, and a lot to carry on your own. Negotiate with your stepdad and mum for time out of the situation, so you can see friends and feel a normal teenager for a while, without the 24 hour pressure of caring.

Your mum, although less able to talk and walk, will probably still enjoy your company, help and support - even if she can't express what she feels. It can be distressing seeing someone you love and care about getting more unwell, but she's still your mum, and that won't change.

I hope you'll feel able to message us here at the riprap team (using the 'get in touch' form), if you'd like to hear from us for support, and the chance to talk through how things are going.

Warm wishes