DD, Aged 17

    When people would talk they didn't know what to say which was understandable.  more...


    Mimi - 15 years old

    I lost myself doing stupid things, angry and sad and depressed at everything. I ended up failing my classes, not caring about school, and getting into fights.  more...


    Chelsea - 14 years old

    I stuck my head round the door in the room mum was in, and she looked really ill. I couldn't understand what was happening - one minute my mum was fine and the next she was ill.  more...


    Clair - aged 14

    Something I wish is I could just have one more day with my dad! - to tell him how much I love him and how sorry I am for all the bad things I have said and done to him!  more...


    Nicole - 17 years old

    This time the doctors are unable to operate. He has already had 6 sessions of chemo and is having another 6 sessions. I cannot help feeling I may lose him.  more...


    Rirrif - 15 years old

    I have been staying with my dad because my mom doesn't want me around when she is sick, which is all the time. My dad works at night so I spend a lot of time alone since I'm not with my mom. I'm afraid she is going to die and I'll blame myself for not being there more. more...


    HT - 13 years old

    She has been so strong about this and is keen to put it all behind her.  more...

My mom's breast cancer

Started : 10.6.2020 by Jane

When i was 14 my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. She then went on with chemo therapy and her hair started falling out. it was very scary to see and i don't like dealing with emotions so i did whatever i could to avoid what was happening. She got better somehow and they found no traces of cancer in her body so everything started going back to normal. But earlier this year they found marks on her brain and i dont know the details but she's on chemo again. Her hair fell out again and i feel like we are back at square one. I know I'm selfish but i dont want to live through this again because i dont even know how i made it the first time. Its selfish but i dont like facing emotions or having heart to heart talks i just can't deal with that. And I'm scared and paranoid about every ache or pain in my body. Like i get these terrible pains in my left breast and left arm and it scares me so much even though i know i am probably overreacting. I dont know what to do or how to feel I'm 16 years old how am i supposed to go on with life. And its not just this its everything. Everything is wrong. My family. My friends. My future. I'm scared i wont really be able to live my life as i should be because God knows i haven't lived at all. I'm scared my mom is going to die and I'm afraid I'm losing everyone. I act like i don't care but i care too much and i dont know who to turn to.

2 Comments so far...


1 - Liz 2/9/2020 @ 23:03

Hi, I’m really happy I found this post. I’m 18 and my mom has terminal ovarian cancer. I was also 14 when she was diagnosed, and just like you, I have no idea how I made it through the first few rounds of heavy chemo. Now that she declined, I feel even more hopeless. I can’t stop thinking about how I won’t have a mom for much longer. My best friend is going to leave me. I’ve been coping horribly, and honestly I’m not even sure how I’m going to survive after she passes. I’ve been thinking about mental institutions because I’m worried I’ll do something really bad to myself when it happens. Anyway, I know this is all really morbid but I wanted you to know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to be selfish, it’s okay to miss being selfish. Our childhood ended earlier than most teenagers. You can grieve that. PS. I went through a hypochondriac phase too after my mom was diagnosed. Had all the symptoms my mom had - irregular periods, gastro issues etc. Turns out it was just anxiety. Had another phase when I was 16 where I also had chest pains. I was convinced I had heart disease. Turned out that was also anxiety. Your brain is in overdrive right now. You’re going to be okay.

2 - Lib 10/4/2021 @ 13:48

my moms going through exactly the same too, she was diagnosed 2 years ago and had an operation to get it removed. Now, it could possibly be back again which is the hardest thing to deal with as a teen. I think it effects us more than we let our moms see, i.e anxiety and overthinking. we're going to be ok, no matter what happens we'll get through this x