Hi, I’m really happy I found this post. I’m 18 and my mom has terminal ovarian cancer. I was also 14 when she was diagnosed, and just like you, I have no idea how I made it through the first few rounds of heavy chemo. Now that she declined, I feel even more hopeless. I can’t stop thinking about how I won’t have a mom for much longer. My best friend is going to leave me. I’ve been coping horribly, and honestly I’m not even sure how I’m going to survive after she passes. I’ve been thinking about mental institutions because I’m worried I’ll do something really bad to myself when it happens. Anyway, I know this is all really morbid but I wanted you to know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to be selfish, it’s okay to miss being selfish. Our childhood ended earlier than most teenagers. You can grieve that. PS. I went through a hypochondriac phase too after my mom was diagnosed. Had all the symptoms my mom had - irregular periods, gastro issues etc. Turns out it was just anxiety. Had another phase when I was 16 where I also had chest pains. I was convinced I had heart disease. Turned out that was also anxiety. Your brain is in overdrive right now. You’re going to be okay.

my moms going through exactly the same too, she was diagnosed 2 years ago and had an operation to get it removed. Now, it could possibly be back again which is the hardest thing to deal with as a teen. I think it effects us more than we let our moms see, i.e anxiety and overthinking. we're going to be ok, no matter what happens we'll get through this x