Amy450 - 15 years old

Then came about a week ago my mum started to get very weak and then days on she got so weak and so confused, I really did not understand what was going on!

Hi guys, I'm 15 years old and my mum has been fighting with cancer for about 11 years now, she's always being an upbeat person and a chatterbox, I love her so much.

This time last year my mums kidneys were getting weaker and weaker by the moment, and the doctors told me, my brother and dad that she wouldn't make it. I was heartbroken and completely scared with so many regrets of shouting at her etc... The days went on and my mum came home and by the days she got better! So much better that she went to Italy with my dad and Spain in the summer with all the family! I was so relived!

Then came September where my granny passed away which really hit me hard, I felt so empty as my granny and I were so close, I loved her so much!

Then October my mum went in to hospital to get scans and the doctors found little spots on her brain of a tumour, my mum still had cancer but she was still able to do anything a normal healthy person would be able to. Then came about a week ago my mum started to get very weak and then days on she got so weak and so confused, I really did not understand what was going on!

Now my mum got submitted to the hospice on Wednesday. I was devastated I couldn't deal with it, I was so upset but then my dad came in to me and my brother on Thursday night and told us mum was going to be alright, a 90% chance she would be as her calcium levels were so high and that it ticked all the boxes of her being confused and tired and weak, so I was extremely happy!! But now to this day my mum is so very weak, and there has been no change in her, my dad says that the window is closing and there's a slim chance she's gonna make it out alive.

I really don't know what to do, it feels like somebody has ripped my heart out and torn it in half, I'm shivering, I am so so so close with my mum, and I don't know what I would do without her, at this minute I'm alone and my dad is coming home from the hospice so I think it's best for me to write this, I pray that my mum will be alright I really do, I can't imagine what it will be like without her I really can't...:(

Page updated 30 January 2016