Em - 17 years old

I thought I wouldn't be able to cope without him but I am as we all have to. It feels like the world should stop for you.

My dad died of pancreatic cancer 9 weeks ago. I have never been on this site before as I thought it wouldn't really help me. But with my story I might be able to help someone else in the same situation. I got on with my dad better than I got on with any one else in the world, we were best friends. When I found out my dad had cancer in may I couldn't stop crying for days but as treatments were shown to us I began to stay positive for my dad and the rest of my family. You always think your dad is the special one who will beat it but cancer isn't something you can control. Whilst my dad was ill I was like his nurse as he never went into a care home as we thought he would definitely be ok. I looked after him all the time, went with him to chemo, kept his pain diary and kept him laughing. I think the best thing you can do is to stay positive. My dad was a lovely man, a joker and I would have done anything in the world to have kept him alive and not in pain. He was very strong and fought well he said he would fight to see mine and my sisters great grand kids. In sept he suddenly worsened not being able to eat or drink or look at himself as he had lost so much weight and by then gone yellow, he still kept his sense of humour though till he died even then he kept saying what's the next step? wanting to carry on. I thought I wouldn't be able to cope without him but I am as we all have to. It feels like the world should stop for you. I miss my dad everyday and as it's coming up to christmas it's really hard for all of us but I know deep down my dad loved christmas and life and would want me to enjoy as much as I can for him. As you probably know life is too short to waste a day, you don't know what could happen to you or anyone of your family. I could probably go on forever saying about my dad but they are good things. Our loved ones will never let us forget and will stay with us forever, no matter how scared you are of forgetting - we won't.

Page updated 18 July 2012