Jen - 16 years old

Mum told me she was going to have chemo and radiation therapy. I didn't know what this was but I went to school the next day and looked in the library.

In 2004 my mum got diagnosed with breast cancer. I had just come back from a big holiday away from my family when I came back all was fine, then my mum started having tests done and she wouldn't tell me what the tests for. I was 14 at the time and after she kept going back for more test I got more worried. When her results came back she told us, (me, my 2 little brothers and my little sister) that she had breast cancer. I didn't know what to do so I cried and cried for 3 days, in this time I couldn't sleep. When I couldn't cry anymore because my eyes hurt to much and I was extremely dehydrated, I began to go over in my head what was going to happen and to me it didn't look good. Mum told me she was going to have chemo and radiation therapy. I didn't know what this was but I went to school the next day and looked in the library. I have read lots of books but none seem to give me a clear picture in my head what was going to happen. My parents wouldn't explain it to me so I was pretty much stuck, everything was left down to my imagination, which was not a good thing, your imagination makes everything seem worse than it really is. I was having a hard time coping at school, I would start crying at random times, I had arguments with my teachers, I even walked out of my science class because my teacher was frustrating me. He didn't understand but to me it seemed he didn't care, he is now one of my favourite teachers. I started going to the school counsellor once a week, so that I had some one I could talk to and trust. She didn't understand what I was going through but she listened and helped me understand what I was feeling. We went through lots of different emotions but a lot of the time I didn't feel anything, it was like there was a big hole where my emotions normally are. When I felt anything I felt frustration. I learnt through going to the counsellor that frustration is a mix of feelings so strong that it is like they are having a war inside me trying to over power each other. My mum came through the other end after the chemo and radiation fine, her hair grew back down to her shoulders, life was almost back to normal. One year later she noticed a lump right where the other one was, the doctors said they couldn't do anything except slow it down using more hormone treatment; she has been doing this since then but it didn't seem to be doing much, mum kept finding lumps all over the place but just around the area where it was at first. This year 2006 the cancer started growing really fast so they decided to give her chemo again to reduce the cancer again as the cant remove it completely. We don't know when mum is going to stop chemo but we think we are about half way through. Fingers crossed That is my story so far!!!

Page updated 18 July 2012