DD, Aged 17

    When people would talk they didn't know what to say which was understandable.  more...


    Mimi - 15 years old

    I lost myself doing stupid things, angry and sad and depressed at everything. I ended up failing my classes, not caring about school, and getting into fights.  more...


    Chelsea - 14 years old

    I stuck my head round the door in the room mum was in, and she looked really ill. I couldn't understand what was happening - one minute my mum was fine and the next she was ill.  more...


    Clair - aged 14

    Something I wish is I could just have one more day with my dad! - to tell him how much I love him and how sorry I am for all the bad things I have said and done to him!  more...


    Nicole - 17 years old

    This time the doctors are unable to operate. He has already had 6 sessions of chemo and is having another 6 sessions. I cannot help feeling I may lose him.  more...


    Rirrif - 15 years old

    I have been staying with my dad because my mom doesn't want me around when she is sick, which is all the time. My dad works at night so I spend a lot of time alone since I'm not with my mom. I'm afraid she is going to die and I'll blame myself for not being there more. more...


    HT - 13 years old

    She has been so strong about this and is keen to put it all behind her.  more...

Aggie - 14 years old

Now that I'm older and I understand what is going on - that I could lose my mum - I'm terrified.

When I was 9 my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer - about a year after her mum died of lung cancer. I didn't understand at all what was happening - why she lost her hair, why I would go weeks with out seeing her and so on. But now, 5 years later, she has been diagnosed with secondary, terminal cancer in her liver, a 50/50 chance of survival and has just started 6 months of chemo.

Now that I'm older and I understand what is going on - that I could lose my mum - I'm terrified. My mum is my beacon, my motivation, the reason I'm inspired to do well in school and in life, I just don't want to disappoint her. I'm scared if/when I lose her then I will lose everything. I don't know if I should live everyday optimistically and be shattered if it all ends badly or to live like she's going to die and be prepared.

I am one of six, I have an older sister and 4 younger siblings. I know that I have to be the strong big sister, for my siblings, who don't get at all what is going on. But it's just so hard you know? My family think I am shutting down, even though I'm doing my best. The last thing my mum needs is her older daughter to be miserable all the time. I keep things to myself mostly. Should I try counselling at my school? Any advice would really be appreciated, I know I'm in for a whirlwind.

Page updated 5 March 2018