Kat - 16 years old

The hardest part was seeing him being wheeled away in the hospital bed for his surgery. I tried all I could not to burst out crying and screaming. I wished it was me in that bed and not him.

My father was diagnosed with colon-rectal cancer the summer of my 10th grade year. My life drastically changed. The rest of my family was very supportive but, I still felt alone. It was as if someone did this to him because of something I did. I began to feel extremely guilty and angry for not having a stronger relationship with my father telling him I loved him everyday. I never thought this would happen to him. When I first found out that he had a tumour I never would believe it could be cancer. My father has been a hard worker all his life and was always giving to others. After my father had his endoscopy examination the doctor brought my mother and I into the room and explained that my father had developed stage three cancer, and would need this tumour to be removed immediately. I was scared to death.

The day of his surgery I tried to support him the best way I could by being there for him letting him know how much I loved him, trying to be happy and confident that everything would be all right, but inside I was dying. The hardest part was seeing him being wheeled away in the hospital bed for his surgery. I tried all I could not to burst out crying and screaming. I wished it was me in that bed and not him. I knew he didn't deserve this. I thought to myself this maybe the last time I see him healthy. The six hours of surgery was torture, I couldn't sit still eat or drink. I felt like I was in the waiting room for years.

When the doctor finally came out he told us that everything went well, and he had removed the part of the colon and all of the rectum and anus. He would have to live with a colostomy for the rest of his life. On top of going through chemotherapy and radiation for close to a year. I was so angry I wanted to wake-up from this nightmare. We went in his room about three hours later when he woke up for a little while. He would have to stay in the hospital for a week. I will never forget the way he looked. He was always like super-man to me - the strongest person I know.

The next day was my first day of school. It was so hard for me to wake up knowing that my father wasn't going to be upstairs making coffee for my mother and watching the morning news. I felt exhausted and nobody knew what I was dealing with. I tried to hide my anger and fear with a smile. I would come home from school and just cry until the point were I felt I was going to pass out. I don't believe that anyone should go through this. That is why it is so important to go to the doctors and examine yourself. My father has been out of the hospital for about a month now and he is trying to do everything to the best of his ability. I know he hurts inside, but I am so thankful that I still have him here. And I will learn to cope and accept what has happened to him, and help him everyway I can.

Page updated 18 July 2012